


It gets better

by Thomasnewtminho29



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, M/M, Post Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7149827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thomasnewtminho29/pseuds/Thomasnewtminho29
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season 3. After the destruction of the city of light Jasper and Monty both struggle with their pain and guilt and realise that they have each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It gets better

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I imagined that Jasper would feel guilty over stabbing his best friend and that Monty would want to try and comfort him.   
> I'm not overly proud of this fic but I wanted to try and start writing more jonty again. I hope you enjoy it :)
> 
> (Also for the purpose of this fic, marper didn't happen.)

Bellamy, Clarke and the rest of the Arkadians returned a few hours after Clarke had shut down the City of Light. When Monty went to greet Clarke, Jasper managed to slip outside. He was glad that everyone had made it home safely but he wasn’t quite ready to talk to anyone yet.

 

He limped over to a corner of the Camp facing the gates and sat down pulling his knees to his chest and sighing heavily. There was a heaviness in his chest which had been there ever since the City of Light had been destroyed. He’d been feeling lost and scared and broken for a long time. The fact that the chip had given him a chance to be happy stuck in his mind but then the memory of stabbing his best friend, the person he loved the most in all the world, took over and made him feel sick to his stomach. Jasper felt disgusted with himself, although he knew he’d hurt Monty by pushing him away for the last few months he’d never dreamed that he’d physically hurt him.

 

A light breeze made Jasper shiver slightly. He thought about what Monty had said to him, that they’d get through this together. Could things really get back to how they used to be? Would Monty be willing to stick by him after everything he’d done? Was there a chance that Monty could ever love him as more than a best friend? He heard footsteps behind him and he knew who it was without even having to look up.

 

“Hi” Monty said. “Can I sit?”

 

Jasper nodded and Monty sat down on the grass beside him and gently bumped their shoulders together. “Are you ok?” Monty asked quietly.

 

Jasper shrugged. “I don’t know” he replied. “I just had to get outside for a bit. It was a bit overwhelming being in there with everyone crying and hugging and apologising.”

 

“Yeah” Monty sighed. “It was intense.”

 

They sat in silence for a few moments before Monty spoke again. “How’s your leg?”

 

Jasper touched the bullet wound absently and winced. “It’s fine” he lied. He knew he didn’t sound convincing.

 

Monty looked guilty and Jasper’s stomach twisted. None of this was Monty’s fault. “I’m so sorry” Monty said, his voice wavering slightly. “I just didn’t know what to do.”

 

“ _I’m_ sorry” Jasper blurted out. “God Monty, I _stabbed_ you. I could’ve killed you! Why are you even speaking to me?”

 

“Because I love you _”_ Monty said without even hesitating. The certainty of his words left Jasper breathless. He couldn’t believe that Monty still cared about him let alone _loved_ him. “It wasn’t _you”_ Monty continued. _“_ ALIE was controlling you.”

 

“But I can remember it” Jasper whispered. “I can remember picking up that screwdriver and stabbing you. I can remember the blood and how betrayed you looked and it makes me sick. I hurt you and I don’t think I can forgive myself.”

 

Monty looked at him sadly. “I forgive you Jasper. I forgive you for stabbing me and for pushing me away after Mount Weather. You’re my best friend and I’ll always forgive you but I know how difficult it can be to forgive yourself.” He looked down at his hands. “There are things that I’m having trouble forgiving myself for. Killing my mum, siding with Pike, not looking after you properly.”

 

Jasper’s heart hurt. Did Monty really feel like he hadn’t been there for him? Jasper didn’t know where he’d be without Monty. “I didn’t really make it easy for you” he pointed out “but you looked after me. You’re the one who cleaned me up and put me to bed and made sure I was safe. There’s nothing else you could have done. I wasn’t letting anyone in.”

 

Monty sighed. “I know” he said, “but maybe if I hadn’t walked away after our fight at the dropship, or if I’d let you comfort me after I killed my mum, or even if I’d just hugged you before you left to find Luna then maybe you wouldn’t have taken the chip. If I’d let you know that I never stopped caring about you then maybe everything would be better.”

 

Jasper slipped his hand into Monty’s and squeezed. “I needed to get rid of my pain” he said. “I guess I thought I could be happier in the City of Light despite what it did to Raven. I didn’t really care about anything anymore but it was nothing to do with you. I never stopped caring about you either. I forgive you and I know your mum would forgive you too.”

 

Monty rested his cheek against Jasper’s head and Jasper closed his eyes and leant against him feeling the tightness in his chest lessen slightly. “Maybe now that we’ve forgiven each other we can start forgiving ourselves” Monty murmured.

 

“Do you really think we’ll be ok?” Jasper asked.

 

“Yes” Monty replied. “I mean, it’s going to take some time, but I meant what I said. We _will_ be happy. I’ll do everything I can to make sure we are.”

 

Jasper smiled slightly. “We’re still best friends aren’t we?”

 

“Of course” Monty said immediately.

 

Jasper rubbed his thumb over Monty’s knuckles as he worked up the courage to say what he’d been wanting to say for a while. “What if I wanted to be more than that?”

 

Monty moved away slightly and Jasper looked up at him. Monty’s eyes were sparkling with tears but he was smiling. “I’d like that” he said shyly. “I think we should take it slow though. We’ve both been through a lot in the past few months.”

 

“Slow is good” Jasper agreed. “I just want to be with you. Everything seems a little brighter when you’re around.”

 

Monty squeezed his hand and snuggled closer. “I’m glad I’ve got you back” he said quietly. “For a while I was scared I wouldn’t.”

 

“I’m glad I’m back too” Jasper said. They fell silent as they watched the sun set, content with each other’s company.

 

Jasper knew that it would be a long time before he felt ok again but he loved Monty and, somehow, Monty loved him back. Amongst all the pain and grief he felt a spark of hope.

 

He remembered Octavia’s words _‘It gets better’_ and, as he sat holding Monty’s hand, for the first time in a while he started to believe it.


End file.
